Three Things!

The last few days have really dragged. I guess, it was inevitable really as days passed since my operation and cabin fever started to set in. My operation was last Tuesday and the appointment to remove my splint etc was last night. A whole WEEK(!), I had to wait before I got to see my new nose!!! : 0

TICK...........................................................................TOCK........................................................................................................................................TICK...................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... TOCK etc but alas, I've now seen it and I'm very happy. Obviously, the results are nowhere near finished but they are promising so far.

The first thing that struck me when I saw the new nose -the one that might  will sit on my face for the rest of my life- was how straight, the surgeon has made it. I wanted the bump removed but he also asked before surgery if I wanted a straight or a ski slope nose. In the frenzy pre-surgery, my mind went blank. So I showed him a profile of one nose I like and after looking it for ten seconds, that amazing surgeon went in to theatre later that morning and bestowed me with an uncannily similar profile. I can see that already. : )

The results from the front are harder to see, the bridge of my nose is straight as straight and the bump has gone but I still have a lot of facial swelling. The sides of my nose and my cheeks are still very swollen and I have two yellow/blue/purple/everycolourunderthesun under eye areas but the initial shape of the nose I can see and so far, that shape is flawless. Just needs downsizing a little. Obviously, once the swelling and bruising goes away a bit more, I will do a big post/vlog and you'll all be able to meet my new nose properly!!!

Meanwhile, I would like to share with you about the only thing that has kept my patience during 'The Great, Great, Great Nose Wait'. Yes, I've already mentioned that I've being reading The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini.

Well, as predicted I quickly finished it and yep, this novel deserves one MASSIVE rave. I loved it and was totally captivated by the story of young Amir, his childhood friend Hassan and their families. The story covers a time span of more then thirty years and shows how one horrific childhood happening taints everything Amir encounters as he grows up. The subject matter does not make for easy reading, this book is centred around Afghanistan from the 1970's onwards. Some horrific violence and acts are portrayed but somehow Hossenini has managed to write these tragedies in such a beautiful way that the language almost compels you to continue reading. I am actually really pleased that I missed the film a few years back and have read the novel version first. The novel is over 300 pages long but not one word is wasted, everything seems central to the story and the story very quickly progresses, never standing still for too long at all and even throwing in some very funny moments especially when Amir and his father go to the United States.

Here is a few general snippets from the novel:
'It's wrong what they say about the past, I've learned, about how you can bury it. Because the past claws its way out.'
'There is only one sin, only one. And that is theft. Every other sin is a variation of theft'
'In his arms, I forgot what I'd done. And that was good'
'Because when spring comes, it melts the snow one flake at a time, and maybe I just witnessed the first flake melting.'

I'll finish my review with a cover quote from my edition from Isabel Allende. What she says I fear could become a true for me too . . . 'Unforgettable .  . .extraordinary. It is so powerful that for a long time after, everything I read seemed bland'

And finally before I go, I want to leave you with a body spray recommendation. I got this Ted Baker Body Spray in a gift set at Christmas and it is definitely THE body spray for me (rose, sandalwood and juicy raspberry) . I love this and isn't the bottle pretty?!!

I've heard the Victoria Secret body sprays are good, have you used any of those? Have you read The Kite Runner?

Until next time . . .

Rhinoplasty vlogs!!!

So, job done . . , I've had my rhinoplasty and I've tried to vlog my 'Little Nose' (hopefully!) journey for you!

This is Day 1, the day of the operation and we have three videos.

1/ The before

2/ The after

And the 'after after'

I hope you can understand, despite all my ramble and the snuffly voice, what I'm saying.

In other news, I have morphed in to a bookworm again! Obviously, I haven't really been out and about much since the operation but I've read lots of books lately which I will review soon. I'm currently on The Kite Runner and I was so scared that I would be the only person in the world who doesn't like it but the writing which hits you right in the heart is just so beautiful and eloquent that I can almost guarantee a rave review pretty quick.

I'm also hoping you've all had a fantastic week or so. I have another video from Day 2 and the bandage is coming off tomorrow (yayyyy!!!) so you will probably hear from me soon. What have you been buying and reading while I've been in hibernation? : )

Nose Job, Tuesday! - Rhinoplasty 1

So, Lovelies, a bit of an exclusive for you. . .

In real life, I've only told four people about my forthcoming nose job, the one planned for next week!!!

Yep, I'm getting a nose job next Tuesday.

Everyone has that one imperfection that they're slightly more conscious of then any other and mine is my nose. It is not that I have ever cried myself to sleep at night because of my nose or that I see a monster when I look in the mirror or somebody 'skanky' as one gentleman suggested last year but at the same time, like sometimes when I look at my hair and see it needs a wash or at my lashes and they need some mascara, I can see there is a little room for improvement.

I've worn this nose for almost 32 years, I've grown more fond of it as the years have gone on and ironically am probably right now happier with it and my look then I've ever been but I'm also a happier ME if that makes any sense. I'm trying to be the best person I can be and have flippin' worked hard to become the person I am and I want my appearance to reflect that.

I don't think I deserve to be dismissed by anyone after three or four seconds just because they've caught my profile from the wrong angle. I guess, I feel I need to be my own best advert and while this may be a little vain (and show I have little else to worry about), who cares, if you're honest, you always make some kind of judgement about somebody in the first couple of seconds when you see them from that sweet old lady to a teenager that is maybe trying a bit too hard (yep, that was probably me, probably still is, even though I'm in my thirties) Me changing my nose doesn't hurt anybody else and in fact, if it makes me more confident and happy then this can only have a good knock-on effect for those around me!

Luckily I've never been bullied because of my nose. My father has a prominent nose (which actually flatters him really well, not fair!) and I think, he passed this to me which would have been OK (almost distinguished) if I'd been a bloke but on my short stumpy little female body, it  can look out of place, mainly in pictures and in profile. I want to have a go at wearing a nose which softens my face and complements the pretty clothes I like to wear and almost flatters me when I'm caught off-guard by a camera.

To be honest, in real life, I've not got much of a problem with the way my nose or indeed, face looks from the front. Well, no more then the next girl. Come on, we all want those razor sharp cheek bones and pearly white teeth. Yes, there is nothing discreet about my nose front on but it seems to fit my face. I have big eyes and average sized lips so my big nose looks kind of balanced until it is captured on camera where it often looks three times bigger and blurred even from the front.

And then there is the side profile, an angle that fortunately I do not view myself from often but that whenever I do, I'm struck with a little shock and disappointment. From the side, I'm not the person I imagine myself to be or know that I am inside. My profile is very severe and sometimes it looks as if I have a beak and that my face is made up of a couple of jigsaws where the pieces have got mixed up. It looks so wrong and although it would be a lie to say that it has ever made me sob, a quick side look in the changing room can put me on edge and has cast a big grey cloud over many what otherwise would have been fun shopping days for me.

I also tend to blame my nose when things go wrong like a relationship or a friendship. I decide that the problem wasn't me but my profile and that suddenly these people had seen it too much and it just wasn't good enough for them anymore. Well, obviously if that was true then they would not be good enough for me but also, this nose, maybe I hide behind it a bit and deceive myself that the only thing about me that turns people off or needs improvement is my nose when the truth is there are so many things I could do to improve myself a little, eat more fruit, become less judgemental, join a gym. At the moment, in the back of my mind maybe I hide behind my nose and think, why bother blogging more or joining a gym if my nose will undo all the good work anyway?! When my rhinoplasty results in a super-duper new nose (hopefully!), I will either need to find a really, really good new excuse to avoid doing all of those good things or I will just have to get off my backside and do them!

I wasn't sure it would be enough to tell the surgeon that my nose looked like a 'beak' when I had my consultation so I took a little time deconstructing my nose and deciding exactly what it was about it that made it in to this horrible beak I see from the side. I identified three things.

1/ My nose is bigger then my frame. Though my facial features are reasonably big and I can pull off the prominent nose from the front, from the side or at an angle and in photos, it looks severe, almost artificial and stuck on especially full length considering my small, short body frame.

2/ I have a bump towards the upper bridge of my nose. I suspect this bump is what impacts the profile so negatively and have noticed that even the bump is not parallel on each side of the bridge.

3/ I think from my profile, the skin running along the bridge of my nose looks to run too far and hangs a little too long over my nostrils.

Granted, the light isn't flattering anyway but eurgh!!!

After two consultations talking to my Co-ordinator and Surgeon at the clinic, there are two majors plans of action for Tuesday and one possible.

1/ The Surgeon, Co-ordinator and I all agree that the bump on my nose could be reduced (if not, extinguished completely) significantly for a more ascetically pleasing look.

2/ The Co-ordinator and Surgeon both pointed out that the bridge of my nose was quite high and the surgeon would like to remove some of the cartilage from the sides.

3/ The Surgeon and Co-ordinator actually think my tip is not a major priority and will be enhanced to some degree by the two actions above but if he is able and it seems fitting then the Surgeon has agreed that he will play with the tip a little to enhance the final results of my rhinoplasty experience.

I am very excited about this little journey and really would like to share it with you but I want to put some disclaimer babble out there too.

Firstly, although cosmetic surgery is increasingly common, it is a medical procedure and you need to do your research and think very carefully before signing up for anything.  There are a lot of possible results and side effects. Many of them are not very appealing and could be potentially life-altering.

Secondly, I am in my thirties and have spent many years giving this nose a go and we got along OK but since you only get one life, I want to see if there is a nose that can be made a little more bespoke, feminine and flattering for me. I have had a long time to come to this decision and have known since I was about 18 that one day this would be a choice I would make. I also feel that at this point in my life I could cope if the operation or final look did not go to plan.

Thirdly, cosmetic surgery is not cheap. I will probably do a post about my Surgeon, Company of choice etc but for now, I will just say that even working in a full-time job doing as many extra hours as I possibly can (sometimes I do more then 60 hours a week), I have had to think very carefully about if this investment is affordable or worthwhile for me.

Fourthly. there is a lot of logistics involved. Luckily, my cosmetic providers have been been brilliant so far and really helped but I have had to organize a fortnight off work, places to stay while I recover, someone to come and chaperone me plus a nice supply of cold and medical remedies for the possible side effects that may result.

Fifth, I have to accept that even my surgeon can not guarantee perfect results. He can more or less guarantee that it will be better from an objective point of view but obviously my view might differ and it is very unlikely the final result will be exactly as I envision. In fact, everybody reacts differently and even a surgeon can not be sure of your final result or look and that brings me to my final point, it can take about a year for the swelling of the operation to disappear and your nose to reveal its true self. In the meantime, you may experience several very different nose looks included very swollen ones!

I'm hoping to blog lots when I'm tucked away recovering for a fortnight so let me know if there is anything you would like me to cover both about the nose job and in general, post-wise?

Have you had cosmetic surgery? Do you know anyone who has had rhinoplasty? Are you considering a cosmetic procedure? What would you consider if you were?

Have a fantastic end of week!!!

Book Review: The Fault In Our Stars, John Green.

The Fault In Our Stars is a young adult novel that has sat on my shelf for a year or so. Again and again, I've picked it up and barely even a hundred pages in, I then put it down again for a month or two before I start to read it once again before putting it down yet again for another month or so!

I first brought this novel after Gemma launched her book club with it. The blurb sold it to me straight away, 'Despite the tumour-shrinking medical miracle that has brought her a few years. Hazel has never been anything but terminal, her final chapter inscribed upon diagnosis. But when a gorgeous plot twist named Augustus Waters suddenly appears at Cancer Kid Support Group, Hazel's story is about to be completely rewritten.'

"Sometimes people don't understand the promises they're making when they make them, " 

I know, you don't need to say it. Straight away your heart goes out to these two kids with cancer and you want to read their story but then reading their story reaffirms what we already know, cancer must surely be one of the most difficult things to live with. And to. read about Hazel, a girl who knows cancer will never leave her, left me with a lump in my throat from almost the very beginning and actually for a while there, made me very uncomfortable and almost guilty which is maybe why I had to stop and start this book over and over again.

"Right, of course. But you keep the promise anyway. That's what love is. Love is keeping the promise anyway. Don't you believe in true love?" '

I finally finished The Fault In Our Stars last night after once again re-starting it about four days ago and this time after reaching the last page and putting the book down. I was truly sad not only for the story that was told but also that the time, between (and with) the friends who I felt as if I had met (IE. Augustus, Issac and Hazel) had come to an end. The relationship John Green established between these three characters was so amazing and you can not imagine how their days would have been without each other. I can only hope that one day I will find friends as true as these, for as much as they couldn't, they made the terrible so much better.

'You don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world, old man, but you do have some say in who hurts you. I like my choices.'

I don't really want to tell you too much about this book because I don't want to go and give you all the spoilers but it is special and like me, you may take a few goes but please read until Amsterdam before you give up on The Fault In Our Stars. I'm not sure a story has ever took me to a setting or situation that felt so real before. As I read about the dinner and then Augustus's confession, I smiled, cried and shivered.

This book starts as a book (maybe even a slightly uneasy one) but when it ends, you're left with the feeling that The Fault In Our Stars was so much more!!!

You can buy The Fault In Our Stars here on Amazon and in many other bookshops. I  really recommend, 'Looking For Alaska' also by John Green!

Happy New Year everybody!!!!!!!!!! So, go on, have you finished a book yet in 2014? Have you read A Fault In Our Stars, what did you think? I hope you've all had a fab weekend.